Monday, July 29, 2013
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Tuesday, March 5, 2013
What is Creativity?
Thomas Edison, "Creativity is 99% perspiration and one percent inspiration." You notice there is a reference to actual work in there. A lot of people have a mistaken idea of what creativity is. People assume an artist is creative because they are an artist and because of the subject area that they are interested in, and that's not true! People view artists as creative because they are in the habit of being creative, but it's not their subject area that makes them creative. The shift that people need to make is that it's not what you think, it's how you think.
Creativity does not happen in vacuum. It is usually fostered by something that's already there and already swimming around in your head or is already in use in the marketplace somewhere. That is where the best creative ideas come from. Improving on something that is already there is creativity at its best. What an awesome definition! Brian Tracy, a leading authority on personal and business success, defines creativity as simply an improvement. He also believes an improvement only needs to be 10% new or different to launch you to fame and riches. Think about that. Take something that already exists, change it 10%, and you have a great business idea. That's basically what he's telling you. Many great fortunes were started with an idea for an improvement. For instance, the light bulb was not actually invented by Thomas Edison. He did not create the idea out of thin air. He improved an idea that was actually about 50 years old. Imagine that! People had been working on that idea for decades, and he came along and made that final improvement that catapulted him to fame and fortune and changed the way that we live.
It has been suggested that people think of 3 to 4 good ideas while they are commuting and sitting in traffic, ideas that could turn into a great business. Isn't that something?! They just don't happen to take action on it because they don't believe that the idea is good enough. Creativity does not happen in a vacuum, and creativity is made visible by taking action.
What is Creativity?
The other big misconception is that creativity is some flash of inspiration. That is a very common belief, a light bulb that turns on. It's really the culmination of a lot of information gathering, and letting it sit around in your brain. You spend time tossing the information around. The information goes through a process of flowing through your thoughts. That flash of inspiration looks like it's some kind of momentary thing but it's really the culmination of minutes, hours, even years of incubation.
Here's an interesting little anecdote and this is from Keith Sawyer, who is an Associate Professor of Education and Psychology at Washington University in St. Louis. In 1990, NASA scientists were trying to fix distorted lenses in the Hubble telescope. The telescope was already in orbit. They decided that they wanted to put small mirrors inside the telescope to correct the image, but how were they going to get all of those little mirrors in that small space.
Well, one of the engineers was taking a shower in his hotel in Germany and noticed a shower head that was on an adjustable rod. Eureka! He realized they could use a folding arm to place those mirrors in the telescope. So there was the flash of inspiration and yet he had all the information. They'd been working on the problem, and that flash happened as a result of being open to everything in his environment. That's a good explanation of creativity!
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By Lucretia Torva. I am a freelance artist painting murals, portraits and faux finishes in the Southwest. I have a Master of Fine Art from the University of Illinois. I have taught college level art courses, helping hundreds of people tap into their creative abilities. I managed a department of artists for a production art company. Successfully freelancing for last 7 years, I have been selling my artwork for the last 25 years. Go to: [http://www.CreativePowerGenius.com] , and get on my mailing list!
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Monday, February 25, 2013
How to Encourage Creative Thinking in Children Using Visual Art Supplies
I have a firm belief that everyone is born with creative abilities. My experience is that many people who are not aware of their creative abilities do not understand what creativity is. Unfortunately many people were not encouraged to develop their creative abilities when they were children. This is one way to encourage creative thinking in your child.
Recognizing, developing and using our creative abilities is vital. Being able to stretch our thinking to include creative solutions to our problems, creates new brain cells, increases our choices and enhances our coping skills. The best time to learn creative thinking is during our childhood while our brains are growing. Any adult who is involved with children (parents, teachers, Scout leaders) can help children raise their creativity skills.
Coloring books and "cookie-cutter" art (the type of art in which every child makes the same item) discourage creativity. Although coloring books have a time and purpose, when a child is coloring in someone else's creation they are not learning how to create something themselves. There is also a purpose for "cookie cutter" art, however, when doing this the child is learning to follow directions from someone else. Genuine creativity is self directed.
How to Encourage Creative Thinking in Children Using Visual Art Supplies
The most important step is to understand the developmental stages of drawing. Unnecessary criticism from adults diminishes a child's ability to grow creatively. When adults respond negatively to children they will be less likely to repeat the activity. Children begin to enjoy drawing by the time they are old enough to hold a marker and will scribble with the marker. Markers are easier for toddlers to use than crayons and safer than pencils. Adult supervision is necessary to make sure the child draws on paper and does not put the marker in their mouth. A gentle reminder that markers are used on paper will generally suffice. If a child cannot comply with this, put the markers away and try again later. Toddlers enjoy learning to control the marker and are beginning to learn about creativity as they create marks on paper. Praising children for their work ("Look at what you can do!") and putting the work on display will encourage them to continue their efforts.
Gradually, around three to four years of age children realize that lines and shapes actually stand for something and they begin to try to make deliberate representations. It is important to encourage children to continue to explore what they can do with markers and never criticize or change their drawing. Around the age of four children begin to make pictures. Adults can encourage this by recognizing the growth the child has made and expressing their appreciation of it. During this time children will enter a stage called "Named Scribbling" in which they will look at something they have drawn, see a shape that looks like "a bird" or "a frog" and name the scribble as such. Again it is vital to appreciate this creative ability in the child in order to encourage creative growth.
From the age of 9 to about 12 years old children begin to try to make their drawings more realistic. It becomes important to them to try to make their drawings more proportional, to fill the drawing with details, make colors more realistic and learn how to overlap. At this stage children begin to feel frustrated and may ask adults for more help. Those children who have not received adult encouragement may stop drawing. If children do seem interested in being able to draw this is a good time for them to receive some drawing instruction. Drawing is a learned skill.
Clay is another important tool for encouraging creative growth. Adult supervision is vital in order to prevent ingestion and, again, gentle reminders that clay is for making things rather than eating, usually suffice. Allowing the child to make what ever they want to with the clay will allow them to follow and grow in their own creative process. The process with clay is similar to that of drawing and often children will make something, look at it and then decide what it is. Around the age of nine to 12 it is normal for boys to make phallic symbols and is important for adults to be able to accept this with little or no comment.
Paint is another medium that encourages creative expression. School age children will get a great deal of pleasure out of mixing the colors and learn a great deal as they do. Children enjoy watching the colors swirl together and gradually blend. When a child mixes all the colors together and finds that they now have army green or brown they have learned something about color mixing. If they are able to mix with some restraint, with the help of an adult, they will begin to learn color theory. Paint is much more difficult to control than markers or clay. Stiff brushes help children control the paint better.
Problems invariably come up when anyone is trying to create something. Problems are opportunities for creative thinking. It is always best to allow the child to try to solve the problem themselves and praise them when they do so, pointing out how creative they have been. When they ask for help an adult can encourage them by reminding them of other times when they have solved problem's. The adult can also ask the child questions to help the child think of solutions. What is most important is that the adult facilitate the child's creative thinking process, rather than simply solving the problem for the child. Adults can make some suggestions and ask the child for more ideas. Brainstorming for ideas and solutions with children invariably raises their ability to think creatively. Ask children for "silly" ideas. Albert Einstein once said "If at first the idea is not absurd then there is no hope for it".
Finally, enjoy doing these activities with your children! It is true that we all learn best when we are relaxed and we are more relaxed when we are enjoying an activity. It follows then that adults need to be able to enjoy doing these activities with their children. Watching children enjoy their creative abilities can be extremely pleasant for adults, as well as educational. Often, adults will find that they have learned a great deal about being creative by watching their children.
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Anne is a Board Certified Registered art therapist and Licensed Professional Counselor. Anne has been studying human development and relationships for over 45 years. She has been successfully working with families, in various capacities, for over 20 years. Her private practice is in the Mt. Airy section of Philadelphia PA. She specializes in helping people recover from various types of trauma, difficult changes and loss. Anne has an unusual ability to connect with children and adolescents, along with their parents. Parenting is the most important job we ever do, yet no one shows us how to do it or gives us the support we need. Anne has successfully coached many parents through a variety of critical stages in their children's lives. Anne's greatest joy is helping people understand themselves and each other.
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Saturday, February 9, 2013
Rating of Wooden Model Ship Kit Manufacturers
There are about 20 wooden model ship kit manufacturers throughout the world. It can be challenging to determine who's kit will suit the model ship builder the best because of all the variables involved. The idea is to match up the kit manufacturer with the needs and wants of the builder so at the end of the day, the ship model builder has an enjoyable and fulfilling experience.
Cast Your Anchor has been in the model ship supply business for 7 years and been ship modelers for over 30 years. Over this time we have formed opinions on model ship kit manufacturers either through direct experience or from listening to our customers relate their experiences. We have summarized our findings below for 10 of the ship model manufacturers.
We provide the history and background of the manufacturer, location of their factory, the North American distributorship channel, their tendency when it comes to the kit skill level requirements and of course their rating.
Rating of Wooden Model Ship Kit Manufacturers
The distributorship channel is most important when considering after sales service. Direct contact between the retailer and the manufacturer is usually best but not in all cases. The tendency for manufacturers to build kits aimed at a certain builder skill level is very important when it comes to the instructions that are provided in the kit. Entry level kit instructions generally assume that the model builder will require guidance with ship model building techniques in addition to specific instructions related to the vessel construction.
Definitions:
Rating 1 -10: 1-3 Poor, 3-7 Good, 8-10 Excellent. All categories are considered equally rated because there are alternative options the builder can exercise should there be an issue in any one of the categories.
Skill Level Tendency - Some manufacturers tend to lean towards a specific builder's skill level in their kits. Other manufacturers have a good variety of kits to suit all levels of skills. Skill Level Tendency: E - Entry Level, I - Intermediate Level, A - Ambitious Level.
Availability - Ranges from always in stock to fulfillment within a few weeks or months. Availability can be adversely affected by the distribution network of the manufacturer. If the manufacturer allows for direct buying the availability tends to be quite high.
Types of Vessels Available - The two areas looked at were era of the vessel and the vessel type. Some manufacturers have a limited range while others have offerings in almost all categories. One manufacturer has vessel types that are unique to what other manufacturers have to offer.
Historical Accuracy - The accuracy of a model ranges from barely recognizable to reasonably accurate. Detailed information of many vessels is not available which leaves for a fair bit of interpretation. When it comes to paint colours some manufacturers don't even try to recognize the true colours of the vessel.
Detailing - Some kits are highly detailed while others have minimum deck fittings. The accuracy of the detailing in terms of the era of the ship as well as the materials used at the time that the ship sailed is also considered.
Instructions - Good accurate instructions that if need be have been properly translated from the host language as well as detailed instructions on the techniques of model ship making range not just from one manufacturer to another but between the skill levels of the kits. Novice kits tend to be more explicit with regards to modeling techniques than advanced kits.
Design - This refers to part fit. Precut bulkheads and all parts that are laser cut should fit reasonably accurately without too much modification. Also there are some kits with inherent design flaws that result in misshaped lines of the vessel.
Parts and Fittings - The fittings should be accurate, to scale and made of high quality materials depending on what the parts is.
Completeness of the Kit - The builder should not have to purchase anything outside of the kit unless there is a desire to augment the fittings or parts in order to improve on the historical accuracy. There should be enough wood and rigging material so that extra material does not need to be purchased.
Price - The manufacturer should produce a range of products at different price points.
Overall Value for Money - This refers to the combination of quality, price and product that the manufacturer has assembled in order to the give the builder a positive overall experience regardless of his skill level.
After Sales Service - This refers to being able to obtain extra parts or responses to customer questions concerning the build. Manufacturer's who have set up distribution channels tend to give fairly poor after sales service.
Manufacturer's Rating
Amati: Overall Score 7.27 out of 10. Skill Level Tendency "I". Strength is availability of kits and after sales service. Weakness is instructions.
Established in Italy in 1879, Amati moved quickly from printed fretwork models to the model ship line. For over 120 years, Amati, thanks to the collaboration with designers and craftsmen, offers to the modelers the best products and the modern technology. Nowadays customers can rely on a large and varied choice of models from the most beautiful and famous America's Cup, to historical sailing ships, and world-wide known motor boats and submarines. Thanks to the high quality of items, detailed construction plans, the product's originality and the constant introduction of new designs, Amati is a world leader in the wooden ship model hobby. Retailer is serviced direct or through distributors in Canada and the US.
Artesania Latina: Overall Score 7.27 out of 10. Skill Level Tendency "I". Strength is price and overall value for money. Weakness is after sales service and parts and fittings.
Artesania Latina began its journey in 1970 in Barcelona Spain. In 1979, 80% of revenues came from outside Spain and their products were known and recognized in 40 countries on five continents. A key aspect in the evolution of the company has always been innovation. In 1994, Artesania Latina released a second family of products, basically but not exclusively for women and in 2001, they opened an office in Hong Kong focused on strategic positioning in emerging markets. In the 34 years of activity, Artesania Latina has continued to evolve in line with the needs of the market every day, year after year, with a passion for the hobby attracting thousands of friends around the world. Retailer is serviced through a distributor in the US.
Billings Boats: Overall Score 6.73 out of 10. Skill Level Tendency "I". Strength is availability of kits, types of vessels available and completeness of kit. Weakness is after sales service, price and instructions.
In the early 50s Ed Billing, a former RAF pilot during WWII, was working as an Architect in the town of Esbjerg in Denmark. His wife was running a Hobby shop called Vestjydsk Hobby and Mr. Billing was proudly displaying his build up model of a Danish Fishing Boat. At that time there were no actual model boat kits around, from which you could make a boat. One day a Danish magazine saw this beautiful model in the window of the Hobby Shop and were very interested in buying 50 "build ups" of this Fishing Boat for a competition the upcoming summer. Mr. Billing was very keen on the idea, but it was a huge undertaking making 50 models, so he came up with the idea to make the model as a kit, exactly the same way you would build a real ship. This was when the concept "plank-on-frame" was invented by Mr. Billing, which is now used by all model boat manufacturers around the world. Up until 1958 the kits were produced under the name "VHT" Vestjydsk Hobby Teknik, but this changed as Mr. Billings products became known outside Denmark. During the 60s, 70s and 80s the kits were improved, and gradually made easier for consumers to build. The frames were precut or die cut, and in the 60s ABS-hulls were introduced for the people that wanted to go out sail with RC. In 1989/90 the first laser cut machine was brought in, and everything became easier to produce, but also to make for the model builder. August 2008 was the 50th Anniversary of the Billing Boats brand name. Retailer is serviced through distributors in Canada and the US.
Bluejacket: Overall Score 6.73 out of 10. Skill Level Tendency "E". Strength is instructions and after sales service. Weakness is types of vessels available and detailing.
BlueJacket Shipcrafters, Inc., located in the United States, has been in continuous operation since 1905. In 1905, Horace E. Boucher, a French-born naval architect with the U.S. Navy Department and head of the Navy's model shop in Washington, founded the model company that bore his name. Boucher's models were prized by museums all over the country-more than 40 are in the Smithsonian alone. His innovative idea of mass producing cast fittings and selling kits to the general public started a new industry in the United States and helped turn what had been the art of a few craftsmen into a hobby enjoyed by thousands. The company name was changed to BlueJacket Shipcrafters after Boucher's death. Bluejacket strives to manufacture the finest and most historically accurate wooden model ships in the world. Retailer is serviced direct or through distributors in the US.
Constructo: Score 7.64 out of 10. Skill Level Tendency "I". Strength is price and overall value for money. Weakness is after sales service and design.
Founded in 1942, Constructo wooden model ships was a pioneer in its field. Constructo, a well-established Spanish toy and games manufacturer, added wooden ship kits to its line only a few short years ago. The kits are of high quality, with accurately cut laser parts. Constructo produces high quality kits for children.
Corel: Overall score 6.36 out of 10. Skill Level Tendency "A". Strength is historical accuracy, parts and fittings and completeness of kits. Weakness is instructions and after sales service.
Corel, located in Milan Italy has been making model kits for period and modern ships since 1971, and enthusiasts will know about their high quality. The company pride themselves in the manufacture of some of the highest quality model boat kits available to the modeler with the best plans in the business. Corel are also able to supply very high quality fittings and materials to model boat
builders. Retailer is serviced through a distributor in the US.
Dumas: Overall score 7.36 out of 10. Skill Level Tendency "E". Strength is types of vessels available and after sales service. Weakness is price and overall value for money.
Al Dumas started marine model boat kits in Milwaukee, WI in 1946. These kits were made of balsa wood with parts printed on the wood for modelers to cut out. About 1980, Dumas moved to its present location at 909 E 17th St. Most of the boats are not only beautiful on display, but they can also be run with electric or gas power and radio control. Dumas line of model boats is most encompassing. Dumas has an exclusive license to manufacture Chris-Craft mahogany runabouts and pleasure craft. Retailer is serviced direct or through distributors in the US.
Mamoli: Overall score 6.36 out of 10. Skill Level Tendency "A". Strength is in detailing, parts and fittings and completeness of kits. Weakness is availability, price and after sales service.
Besides its normal commercial activity, the firm has established a "Naval Modeling Department" for the production of period ship kits. The models presented, which from the structural point of view are of an extremely advanced conception, are the logical continuation of a line begun more than 20 years ago by the designer Luigi Volonté, whose long experience allowed him to personally set up and follow a production, which was regard as one of the best, both for the facility of construction and the clearness of the plans, which are full of perspective drawings and fully described in four languages. Retailer is serviced through one distributor in the US.
Mantua: Overall score 6.09 out of 10. Skill Level Tendency "A". Strength is in detailing, parts and fittings and completeness of kits. Weakness is availability, instructions, price and after sales service.
Mantua Model, located in the ancient town Mantova, Italy, has built its reputation on the ultimate in large, elaborately detailed ship model kits. Mantua Model Group (includes Sergal and Panart) have been producing period model boat kits since after the war and were the first company to innovate and use the cutting ability of laser beams to produce very accurate and high quality products. Designed for the experienced modeler, most use a combination of photo-etched brass and cast or machined bronze fittings. Several feature solid bronze ornamentation cast one piece at a time by the lost wax method. Retailer is serviced through one distributor in the US.
Midwest Models: Overall score 7.36 out of 10. Skill Level Tendency "E". Strength is instructions, completeness of kits and after sales service. Weakness is price, types of vessels available and detailing.
In 1952, friends combined their passions for model airplanes to develop a thriving business dedicated to providing high quality products to enthusiasts around the world. More than 50 years later, Midwest's product line and distribution have grown and changed, but its passion for quality has remained steadfast. Today, Midwest Products is a leading supplier worldwide of quality raw materials, accessories and kits to distributors and retailers. People use our products for leisure, educational and professional pursuits, from model airplanes and boats to architectural and educational projects. Retailer is serviced direct or through distributors in Canada and the US.
Model Shipways: Overall score 7.36 out of 10. Skill Level Tendency "I". Strength is instructions and after sales service. Weakness is historical accuracy and price.
Model Shipways (A Division of Model Expo), in continuous operation since 1946, is the oldest ship model factory in America. As a leading manufacturer and provider of historically accurate and authentic model kits and precision tools, Model Expo serves more than 40,000 customers and hobby stores throughout the world. Model Expo was founded in 1976 and partners with over 40 companies worldwide to include Italy, Spain, Europe, and China. Retailer is serviced through a distributors in the US.
Occre: Overall score 5.64 out of 10. Skill Level Tendency "A". Strength is historical accuracy and completeness of kit. Weakness is availability of kits, instructions and after sales service.
Above all else, OcCre (Ocio Creativo) is a brand whose potential for development is based on its highly integrated team of people, capable of creating products of excellent design and creativity. OcCre is a fairly new company with a manufacturing facility in Spain. Retailer is serviced through a distributor in the US.
Cast Your Anchor continually looks for the best fit between the ship model builder and the ship model kit manufacturer. Should you wish to comment on this article or would like more information, please contact Cast Your Anchor at castyouranchor@bellnet.ca.
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Wednesday, February 6, 2013
The Best Creative Ways to Propose
Marriage proposals made over a romantic dinner at an elegant restaurant can be very romantic but they are not necessarily creative. Many women dream about the day that the man of their dreams proposes to them and hope that the day will be absolutely perfect in every way imaginable. In a recent study the majority of married women reported that they believe that their spouse spent a significant amount of money on their wedding proposal but that the lack of originality in the proposal had left the women feeling disappointed.
One creative way to propose for a couple involved in a long distance relationship is to plan a surprise visit and set up a scavenger hunt. You could have a friend pick you up from the airport so that your girlfriend doesn't know that you are coming to visit and have the friend give your girlfriend instructions for the scavenger hunt. You could hide a number of small surprises such as candy, flowers and a CD as the first few stops on the scavenger hunt and then hide at the final location poised to propose when your girlfriend completes the game.
An outdoor enthusiast might appreciate a creative proposal during a camping trip. It's a good idea to plan a quiet trip for just you and your girlfriend at a picturesque location. You could hide the ring in your sleeping bag to use in a surprise proposal. When it's time to go to sleep after a long day of hiking and fishing, you could complain that there must be a rock or something underneath you and then pull out the ring and make your proposal. This creative proposal also contains the element of surprise as a camping trip is not a usual proposal location.
The Best Creative Ways to Propose
Another creative proposal idea is to place an ad in a local newspaper. You could place an outrageous ad in a newspaper asking anyone who was willing to get married to give you a call and include a fictitious phone number. Then when you and your girlfriend are reading the paper together, you could point out the ad as a joke and while she is reading the ad, seize the opportunity to pull out the engagement ring and let her know that you would love to marry her.
Proposing at a sporting event is a creative way to propose to a sports fan. For this proposal idea you could either arrange to have your proposal broadcast over the public address system or displayed on the large screen. If you are really adventurous, you could also contact the team's public relations department and try to make arrangements to make your proposal on the field at halftime. They might be willing to help you stage a scenario where you are either chosen to win a prize or participate in a contest and while you are on the field, they would hand over the microphone to allow you to make your proposal.
Another creative marriage proposal idea is to purchase a book of poems and leave the first few pages intact and carve a heart into the remaining pages and sew the engagement ring to the back of the book. You could suggest taking turns reading the poems on each page and plan to have your girlfriend turn the final complete page to reveal the heart and ring that were hidden inside. This proposal idea is not only creative but also incredibly romantic.
Having the DJ of your girlfriend's favorite radio program ask her if she will marry you is another creative proposal idea. You will want to make sure that you are aware of the exact time that the DJ will be sending your message so that you are able to ensure that you and your girlfriend are listening together when he makes the announcement. You could also arrange to have the DJ play a song that has a special meaning for you as a couple so that you can enjoy a dance together after she accepts your creative proposal.
Another creative way to propose is to include all of your family and friends in the event by inviting them all to a surprise party for your girlfriend. To make this proposal work, you would either convince your girlfriend that you want to have a quiet dinner at home or at a restaurant with just the two of you. Once you arrive at the destination all of the guests will reveal themselves and while all eyes are on the two of you, you could take the opportunity to profess your love and propose.
Still another creative way to propose is to hide the ring in an unexpected location. For example you could pretend to have a clogged sink and while you are working to fix the clog, you could reach into the sink and pull out the engagement ring. When your girlfriend is nearby, you could seize the opportunity to pull out the ring you had hidden earlier and say something to the effect of, "No wonder the sink is clogged, I'll have to find another place to store this ring, how about your finger?" This whimsical proposal is both light-hearted and creative.
A variation on the traditional proposal at an elegant restaurant could be to have the waiter bring out the ring with the bill. You could have a little good natured fun with your girlfriend by going out of your way to drop hints that you would be proposing over dinner. If you keep up the act, she will be expecting your proposal with each course. After dessert you could tell her that you have something very important to ask and as she eagerly awaits your proposal, you could ask an inconsequential question about something completely irrelevant to your relationship. She will probably be furious at this point but her anger won't last as the waiter arrives with the bill and the engagement ring and you let her know how much she means to you.
Finally a creative proposal idea is for the woman to ask the man to marry her, instead of waiting for him to propose. Many women anxiously await the day that the man in their life will propose but why not add your own creative twist by proposing to him instead. The woman is free to propose in any way that she finds truly romantic and can ensure that the proposal is both creative and romantic and that it's a moment that they both will remember for the rest of their lives.
A great marriage proposal doesn't have to be expensive or extravagant. Many women are more likely to cherish the memories of a proposal that was inexpensive but truly creative. The creativity is what makes the proposal so memorable and what makes it a great story to tell their friends.
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Tuesday, January 29, 2013
How to Express Thanks in Words
Words convey our feelings and a thank you message conveys our gratitude and appreciation. We express our thanks on various occasions like birthdays, weddings, bridal showers, baby showers, holiday greetings, anniversaries, retirement parties, graduation greetings, etc. Business relationships are based on recognition and thank you messages convey we value them. Volunteers, teachers, doctors, people who help to make our life easier should be acknowledged and thanked.
We should never forget to give our thanks to people who conveyed their sympathies at times of difficulties. A simple "THANK YOU" hand written in thank you cards does show your thoughtfulness but when you take the effort to add a few more words the thank you card becomes more special.
When we receive gifts the happiness is wonderful.Why don't we specify this with words describing the thoughtfulness of that particular gift.Add a note how you found the gift useful or that it was in your wish list so that the person who took the effort to buy you the gift will feel his choice was appreciated.
How to Express Thanks in Words
Be grateful to services you receive and send your words of appreciation immediately. Let you words convey your genuine gratefulness.Simple sentences with expressions that you value them make them feel their job was well done.
Compliment your business associates with words describing how helpful and useful their association is. Thank your staff for the help in projects and show your appreciation of their extra efforts with words. A word of appreciation and recognition gives more satisfaction than monetary benefits.
Funeral thank you notes are difficult but take time to thank the people who stood by at times of sorrow by explaining how their presence gave you strength. We can use quotes in our thank you cards to express our emotions. Quotes are words of wisdom by many learned scholars and spiritual teachers that we can use to convey our thoughts with the right words.
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Friday, January 25, 2013
Midlife Crisis In Women
Life is a cycle of seasons, and the transitions between seasons can be worrisome. Often there may be minor disruptions in life style, which are soon resolved. But when they persist, there is a crisis. Midlife is one such period which has been recognized as a period of potential crisis.
Midlife sets in somewhere between the end of the 30s and the late 40s. It is distinct from the premenopausal years that occur later. Up till the 1900s, only about 10% of women reached middle age. Their roles were well defined within the limited sphere of home and family, as wife, mother, domestic drudge. Midlife crisis was unheard of.
However, the 20th century has seen an incredible lengthening of the life span, with women living well into their 7th or 8th decade. So, around 40 years or thereabouts, when the business of child bearing is over, and children begin to assert their independence, there looms before women a stretch of life that appears to be like a vacuum. Husbands may also be passing through their own midlife crisis, and are like irritable hedgehogs. Or in a reversal of roles, they become overly dependent on their wives. Women begin to feel trapped.
A woman may feel that life is passing her by. "Who am I?" she wonders. "Does my life count for anything?" An inexplicable loneliness overcomes her as though she has no real self identity. Conscious of her gradually fading beauty and energy, she sinks into depression. This feeling of worthlessness is compounded if there is marital dissatisfaction. The 20th century saw revolutionary changes taking place in every aspect of life. Education, employment outside the home, collapse of the joint family system, migration to the impersonal atmosphere of cities, changing sex roles, women's liberation movements, youth culture, and rapid advances in Science and technology - these have created a kind of insecurity in the traditional woman. As she tries to keep pace with changing times, stress becomes her portion.
Midlife Crisis In Women
It is against this background that Midlife Crisis assumes significance. Whether single, married or widowed, almost 2/3rds of women pass through this phase. A career oriented spinster high up in the Management hierarchy suddenly decided that she cannot live alone anymore. She conjures up pictures of being incarcerated in some Home for the Aged, and the prospect alarms her. So she frantically advertises in the newspapers for a suitable spouse, and may imprudently select an undesirable mate, or enter into a live-in relationship. A sober middle aged widow may decide to give herself a new image. She may visit a beautician to have her hair styled, her eyebrows plucked, and her wrinkles ironed out with Botox. She may even begin to use heavy make-up and dress like a teenager. She may flirt outrageously with eligible men, or have an affair with someone younger than her son. People notice, gossip and snigger, but the woman throws propriety to the winds, and is brazen about her behavior.
A spinster with unfulfilled maternal desires may decide to have a baby out of wedlock or offer to 'rent her womb.' Some psychologists say that Midlife Crisis is just a convenient excuse for irresponsible behavior. But it can be argued that if this was the case, why wait till middle age to indulge one's self? Middle Age is merely a transitory phase, and is not something to be feared but welcomed. Crisis usually occurs when there is a lack of preparation. E. M. Blaicklock says "Middle Age is the time when life's fruits begin to ripen."
It must be prepared for. It is a time to take stock of one's self, and examine one's life style. One needs to identify factors that can contribute to a crisis and address them individually. Is there fear of losing one's youth, sex appeal and beauty? Do a few strands of grey, or sagging breasts or weight gain create panic? One psychiatrist says, "Feeling good and looking good is related to a balance between mind and body." And Longfellow assures us that "Age is no less an opportunity than youth itself, though in another dress."
Exercise, a balanced diet, relaxation, and a general interest in the world around, will put the radiance back into middle aged faces.
Has the marriage relationship become boring? Then one needs to put more effort into changing it. A little more loving, communication and caring can go a long way in setting things right. The husband may also be passing through midlife crisis and may be disinterested or unable to respond to her feelings. A woman must therefore verbalize her needs directly and specifically, making him understand that she is passing through a difficult phase and wants his understanding and love. A good husband will not only be emotionally supportive of his wife, but also give her the space she needs to develop her sense of self worth. If a woman is suddenly widowed in middle age, her depression may increase. Or she might rush into an affair which is not a sensible thing to do while under stress.
For a woman who has spent the best years of her life being an exemplary mother, who has found identity and fulfillment in her children, the realization that they don't need her anymore, and a wide generation gap is developing between them, makes her feel marginalized and useless. Midlife is also a time when one becomes vulnerable healthwise. Diseases like obesity, hypertension, diabetes, the need for diet restriction, medication, exercise, make her conscious of her mortality. She begins to brood over her situation and gets bogged down in self pity. Dwindling money resources and stringencies brought on by retirement, also pose a threat to her peace of mind.
All these stress factors have a snowballing effect, which can undermine a woman's self confidence and bring about altered behavior like, depression, irritability, irrational behavior, assertiveness or abnormal sexual interest. In fact, this phase is like passing through a 'second emotional adolescence.'
Anticipating and preparing for middle age can make the transition smoother. Life doesn't end at that stage. Floyd and Thatcher say, "Middle Age is a time for discovery, not stagnation. It is a time ripe for fresh beginnings - a threshold to a rich stimulating future. If approached with good humour and flexibility, and an openness to change, the middle years and beyond can be the best half of life." Life has many different seasons. At each season a woman needs to reassess her values from different perspectives. Whether single, married or widowed, she needs to bloom in her own identity, and not be a rubber stamp of her husband or a door mat for her children; nor should she let herself be exploited even by her own family. She too must be a decision maker and assert herself when necessary.
Hobbies and new interests make life interesting. "Unlock your creativity," exhorts Ann Morrow Lindbergh. Music, reading, travel, painting are mood elevators.
Good friends are assets in difficult times. They act as confidantes or as sounding boards when one needs to get something off one's chest. They lend support in times of stress and depression. Groups like "Emotions Anonymous" help its members to open up and talk about their problems. They learn from each other's experiences and help each other mutually, to redefine their ideas and values. They become happy and confident. Artificial props like drugs and alcohol are not the answer, neither is an extra marital affair a solution. It may only lead to guilt feelings that are hard to shake off.
Husbands and children must realize that their supportive love can work magic in overcoming midlife crisis. But unless a woman verbalizes her needs and fears, they cannot know.
Finding time for introspection, refusing to condemn one's self for imaginary short comings, and an awareness of the temporary nature of such a crisis, is half way to overcoming it. People tend to put God last when faced with a crisis. Paul's words in Philippians 3:13 are encouraging. "I am still not all I should be, but I am bringing all my energies to bear out one thing; forgetting the past, and looking to what lies ahead." Prayer surmounts many a crisis.
Midlife is the pre- autumn season of one's life. Autumn is sure to follow, and will light up one's personality with the golden hues of maturity and peace. Life will begin again with a new vision for what is left of the future.
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Eva Bell is a doctor of Medicine and also a freelance writer of articles, short stories, children stories. Published in Indian magazines and newspapers, anthologies and also on the web. Author of two novels, one non-fiction, two children's books. Special interest - Travel and Women's Issues.
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